Modern Life Is Rubbish

I’m putting this down to a lack of engagement, rather than forming part of my wider theory that Modern Life Is Rubbish*. But this week I’ve had the Council declare our planning application INVALID on their website, and our energy company increasing our direct debit to £400/month.

Neither was accurate, both were fairly simply put straight. And neither was a computer-says-no issue; in both cases someone’s just handled our information badly. We’ll all have had experiences like this, probably as often as this. And I don’t think that it’s just because I’m advancing in years that these things raise my heckles.

You’d have thought that in the days of Twhinging (sample: @virgintrains My train was FOURTEEN minutes late and I DIDN’T get half a dozen oysters in recompense. #neverusingoneofyourtrainsagain #oryourcable #oryourspaceships) that these kind of minor, utterly preventable, little annoyances would happen less. Whereas I think the reverse is true.

There’s lots of reasons for it. For one, lots of people work in Bullshit Jobs (not my words, an actual Professor’s words). And whilst the world markets a leisure lifestyle of 78,000-places-you-must-visit-before-you-die-of-shame, with a smartphone no more than 2.5 weeks old, whilst being a caring citizen and an ideal parent– you can hardly begrudge most people a certain ennui. It’s just not possible. And in the scheme of things, does it matter if you press “valid” or “invalid”? Nobody dies either way.

But there is a consequence, and perhaps this is what’s missing. What if my gran was told her energy bill was going up five-fold? She’d be in tears. And she might very well struggle to get the problem solved as quickly as we did. Has the human processing our details been asked to think about the humans at the other end? Has their manager reminded them that they deal with people, not numbers? Are they engaged with the customer? And if they’re not – how is anyone going to find that out, and address it?

* It is though, isn’t it? Take my wireless printer. Old wired printer; printed 100% of the time. New wireless printer; about a 50% success rate. Rubbish. I found myself at Milton Keynes station the other week with a long train ride, but no book. You can’t buy a book at, or near, the station. Rubbish.

So, what do you do?

Lots of people ask me this. Friends. Family. Even my wife, who’s done paid work with me. None have been so far from the mark as a friend who thought I was a motivational speaker. She was, with good reason, unsure as to how I’d make a go of that.

My standard answer at any event that requires me to “mingle” (and just typing “mingle” gives me hot elbows) is “You know market research? Well I do it for employers, not for products”. That’s usually enough for most people. But the bravest and most persistent will ask “What sort of thing then?” And then it can cover all sorts of things. Recently I have:

•  Researched an industry to help prepare for a pitch
• Designed, run and analysed an engagement survey
• Conducted a comms audit with a survey and follow-up focus groups
• Proposed a research event to help attract some very niche skills
• Researched quiz questions to be used at a conference

It’s pretty diverse. I also ended up designing an Excel tool to track and analyse multiple comms projects. That’s at the limits of what I do, but the project started one place and went another. It happens.

But I’ve also had to decline recent work. Not for lack of capacity, but because it was the wrong sort of work. There was plenty of discovery to do, but it also needed:

1. Me to be the face of the agency, and 
2. Me to provide specific advice on recruitment channels and process

I’d have been happy(ish) to do one or the other, but both poses too many risks. I can represent you and your business, but if you need me to keep interacting with the client – ad-hoc – then it’s difficult for me to be that available. I can give advice on recruitment channels and process. But I don’t live in that world every day now; you likely need an expert for expert advice.

The risks are that I’ll let down your client, or miss opportunities for you.

All that work I have done has all started with “We need to know more about…” Give me a request like that, and I’m all over it – whatever the topic.